Sayadaw U Pandita

Kalyāna Mitta: A True Friend

Kalyāna Mitta: A True Friend

What advice would you give to western dhamma teachers and to those who may come to them for guidance as they continue in their own ways to spread the Dharma in the west?

Sayadaw U Pandita’s Answer

The most important thing is to know are the true qualities of a spiritual friend — a kalyāṇa mitta. Eloquence, humor or intensity of speech isn’t what I mean. Those are only superficial qualities. The main quality of a kalyāṇa mitta is his or her depth — the twin qualities of wisdom and compassion. They should be well developed.

Next, one must approach this spiritual friend and practice dhamma. Only after you practice and achieve good results then you can take that method as beneficial and correct. A teacher’s personality can be like honey but unless it’s free and not sticky the fly will die. So the method of freedom should exceed attraction to personalities.

Another aspect of a strong spiritual teacher is that they do not criticize others. Anyone who understands the true dhamma, especially after they have reached the stage of Ariya, there will be no such thing as uplifting oneself or denigrating others. The Buddha made it clear that the objective of dhamma was to end dukkha, to extinguish the internal fires of, greed,  hatred and ignorance. In so doing the goal of practice may be the same yet the approach may be different.

For example, all know there are many different schools of medicine. The point is to know medicine, to help others, be of great value to others. But first one needs training. They approach a good school with competent teachers. Through persistence and great dedication one gets a preliminary degree in both theory and a bit of practice. Then if one wants to specialize, become highly proficient, one goes on, or goes further in their training. Nevertheless, no matter how well trained someone becomes, medicine is a complex area of study and as the saying goes, nothing can fully prepare you for the test of application once you are outside of school. But without training you’re a quack, and a danger to society. You’’e dealing with people in life and death circumstances and you better know what you’re doing.

However, as I said, when one goes outside into the real practice of medicine one may encounter certain diseases never before known or come across. So instead of treating them in the usual way, or the traditional way, the doctor may invent a personal approach to the treatment of that disease. But in so doing, a doctor may treat just the symptoms and the symptoms may subside in the patient. The patient may temporarily even feel good again and the doctor may shout success. This isn’t the dhamma. This is nothing more than smothering a fire with a blanket, thus forcing the fire to go underground where it resurfaces someplace else at a later time. All the while it smolders in the soil of their spirit.

Kilesas are a complex issue and treating them is equally complex. So when a doctor treats a patient with his or her own method, providing it actual works, such a person may take pride in that cure and might denigrate others. In fact, this is common. How do you say? It often comes with the territory. But there really is no need for pride or conceit. Arrogance is a rather lame response. Nevertheless, it is quite common. Sometimes the arrogant rooster gets his head cut off before the hens. So one must be watchful of roostering so to speak.

On the other hand, there are teachers who are quite intelligent but cunning. This is a type of fear. These teachers and we have them in Burma, often like their popularity as dhamma teachers more than the dhamma itself. Of course, they would never admit to this but we see it even in Burma. It’s quite common. Since the wind blows in many directions, and since some teachers may be like a flag, in other words, they enjoy being at the top of the pole, so they behave like a good flag, and flap in the right direction. But sadly, they are controlled by the wind. The wind is the need for popularity and they’re controlled by it. But because they’re presently the flag — and often a mere symbol for their followers — tied up high at the top of the pole, they do their duty as a good flag does, and just keep blowing in the direction of the wind. This is spineless. Flags take no stand. Rather flags are attached to poles, not the other way around. A pole might stand but flags come and go and no matter what with so much wind flapping the flag eventually becomes tattered and ripped. People like this wear out in time. It’s natural.

A true spiritual friend isn’t concerned with being a symbol for people. They’re courageous, fearless and willing to stand alone if need be. The dhamma needs no support, it’s free.

A final example and we’ll end. Say, you want to pay your respects to the Shwedegone Pagoda in Yangoon. Now there are four main gates in which you can approach the pagoda. So one person goes up from one particular gate, another person goes up yet another gate and so on. Isn’t it silly to criticize others for going up another gate other than the one you went up? Really, this is unnecessary and foolish. What’s important is to see and to visit the pagoda, to be inspired by its splendor, and not how you come to the pagoda. That’s missing the point. But now the times have changed, we have elevators at the Shwedegone, so it’s much easier for you to get to the top. You can’t say that it is wrong or incorrect. The purpose is the main criteria. To reach the pagoda, pay your respects and carry that inspiration with you when you leave is what is important.

Nevertheless, if you take the wrong way up you will end up in the wrong place. Now one who teaches the wrong way to the pagoda must indeed be criticized. Not in a negative sense
but with encouragement and with love in the heart. This is the correct type of criticism. It brings unity of purpose.

The original text is part of an interview with Sayadaw U Pandita by Alan Clements and can be found in het book Instinct for Freedom.

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About Sayadaw U Pandita

Sayadaw U Pandita, born on july 28 in 1921 and deceased on 16 April 2016, was one of the foremost masters of Vipassanā.

U Pandita began practicing Vipassana under the guidance of Mahāsi Sayādaw beginning in 1950 and became his sole succes after his death in 1982. He has taught many of the Western teachers and students of the Mahāsi style of Vipassanā meditation.

U Pandita was known for teaching a rigorous and precise method of self-examination. He taught Satipaṭṭhāna or Vipassanā, emphasizing Buddhist ethics as a requisite foundation. He was also an erudite scholar of the Pali Tipiṭaka, the Theravāda canon. Until his death at age 94 in 2016, he continued to lead retreats and give dharma talks, but he rarely gave interviews.

You yourselves must strive, the Buddhas only point the way

Buddha, Dhp 276